So at some point in 2010 my spirit drew a line in the sand so to speak. I wanted to see god. Actually see Him. Have a sit down discussion on all the inconsistencies I’ve had to grow under. I started to research meditation. I began taking yoga classes which I quickly quit….yoga is damn difficult!
After working in my profession for about a year I befriended a fellow massage therapist who was also on a journey for knowledge. She had established a “healing circle” with her friend and felt some compelling reason to invite me. I agreed to come instantly. I felt like this had to be a divine connection. How else could I explain it?
So at the first session, I found that the healing circle was little more than a few friends coming together to meditate in the same space. Not so bad. So I kept going.
Eventually, I would learn that they both followed a certain guideline of understanding. This understanding included Annunaki, higher dimensions, shifting to higher vibrations…etc. Some of you may know what I’m talking about.
Right away my dormant Christianity balked at all this new information. I wanted to start negating all they were about with zero knowledge of what they were really saying. I had to literally sit on my hands and bite my lips between my teeth. I wanted a first hand experience. I needed something under my belt so I could say…hey you know what…I was there…I know what you’re referring to…this is why I believe it’s false…etc. So I bought books about it and put some of the practices to use.
I began to meditate with purpose. Listened to binaural beats and harmonic frequencies while lying perfectly still. I imagined astral projecting my soul a few times. That was crazy! But let me come back to that.
I felt like I was in the right place at the right time. I had no idea that this was more of a scavenger hunt the Holy Spirit scheduled for me. Of course I would feel confirmation within my soul as I passed each point. I was learning without realizing I was being schooled.
I started reading this book: The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life written by Drunvalo. Yes just one name…Drunvalo. Creepy much? I digress, I cannot recall how I was led to this literature but I was intrigued. I read everyday. Sometimes unceasingly for hours. It was a lot to take in. It talked about the many variations of man, how were are more than one dimensional beings. How we exist in a many multifaceted universe and we are essentially more than what we are….Well, that’s not entirely a lie. We do believe (some of us anyway) that there resides a spirit within the body. There is a greater force that created us. We exist as evidence of a greater glory…so I read on.
Every so often, I’d come to something that would vex or for lack of a better description, piss off the Holy Spirit. I’d turn it over in my head to try and understand it a different way. To maybe explain it to Him and myself in a way that we could both accept. Yea I laughed at that attempt too. How could I explain anything to the Holy Spirit? Nevertheless, I pressed on assuming that by the time I was done, it would make sense.
I was led into spirit science and sacred geometry. Given glimpses into ancient Egypt’s history and a crash course in hieroglyphic translations, the School of Horus and on and on. This book is pretty deep!
It started to show me that with meditation there is a specific method. Merkabah. The spirit’s vehicle for trans dimensional travel. Breathing techniques and counting. It was all pretty fascinating until something strange happened.
I remember one night lying in bed getting ready to meditate and attempt to astral project. My room was dark and it was quiet. My cat took up his usual intrusive spot at the foot of my bed. I closed my eyes and started my breathing technique. I placed my focus accordingly and allowed myself to slowly drift between that small space of awake and asleep.
In this semi state I felt my body start to hum and vibrate subtly. Normally, that would make me nervous but I had been practicing for months at this time so I was excited! It was finally paying off! I wanted to take a trip through the cosmos. See the stars up close and personal. Surf on Saturn’s rings…blah blah blah…
So I’m in this vibrational state and still with my eyes closed. I thought I should be able to see something but no! Nothing but the darkness behind my eyes. Ugh! So I opened my eyes, expecting to see my darkened room. Odd. I still see darkness.
Then suddenly I fell! I fell hard! Like I dropped back into myself from some unknown height! It was so jarring that Mr Murky (the cat) jumped too. He gave me this…what is your deal?! look.
I had no idea what had just happened. I was a little scared but I chalked it up to my impatience and went to sleep.
The next day I was SPINNING! Spinning like I was on some whirly ride that made you dizzy when it stopped. I would stand and feel the world go topsy turvy. I’d literally lean one way or the other. I couldn’t walk in a straight line. I felt this strange sensation at the top of my head.
If I could explain this feeling…imagine a flower blooming over and over again…a never-ending blossoming of petal in a continuous path…as if you never reach the center of the flower because it just keeps going…on and on….this is what the top of my head felt like.
I had to work like this! How the heck was I going to get through the day?! Drive?!
Someone told me that I had awakened my Kundalini. My what?!?! I was told I was so lucky! I was bombarded with questions and when I spoke I saw the faces of people just light up in jealous fascination. So I started to feel lucky. Until I couldn’t stop the sensations.
I never felt rested. I couldn’t bring my body down from its heightened state enough to sit quietly. There was always this humming or buzzing going on. I felt drunk 90% of the day.
Was this anything like being drunk in the spirit?
I had no idea but I was ready for peace. During this time I kept reading. I read constantly. I attended our healing circle meditations and I started to search the internet for the components of the annunaki and the school of horus.
By this time I make it well into the second volume of the Flower of Life series. I am gaining a better understanding of god and how I fit into this thing called creation. Or so I thought.
I began to look at the world as one giant living being. Everything connecting in some fashion. How everything that we touch had an organic beginning so it too carried a spiritual signature of life. I applied my knew sense of self to the book of Genesis. I was ecstatic when what ever previously confused me I was able to explain…even as I explained…to myself and others what I had no idea that I knew.
I’ll say that last sentence another way because I know its confusing. I was having conversations with whomever would listen and as I would speak, new ideas and understandings would just appear…out of no where…I’d not only blow their minds…but I’d blow my own mind as well!
I was deceived. Completely and utterly. Because while a lot of what I was going through was honest and true, the methods were a lie. How did it happen? How did I fall for something with such a humble beginning? Consider this: Deception is only as good as its author. If you truly want to deceive, you must first be honest.
Strange right? I know. Don’t believe me? Here’s an example:
In the garden Adam and Eve considered the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Pondering on what god meant when he said if you eat it you will surely die.
The serpent (watcher) sees this and knows this is the only chance to interfere. So what does he do? He dangles, not a lie…but the truth!
He said to them…well no, you wont surely die. No, god doesn’t want you to eat because once you do you will be like god knowing of all things concerning good and evil.
That was true…but where was the lie?
…you will be like god
In essence you, yourself would become a god. That was the lie. You would not become a god. You’d be susceptible to bouts of self appointed glory because now you’d measure your progress from ignorance to intelligence. You’d cease to be amazed by wonders and seek to explain them. You’d take the beauty of creation and dissect it in order to explain away the miracle of it all.
THAT, in and of itself, is like a death. We became self aware. We essentially made the same mistake Lucifer did. We took our eyes off our Creator and put them on ourselves and became exultant of who “we” were.
So to deceive effectively, you must first be truthful…effectively. The devil is a seducer. He will entice you with what you already know and then seduce you with what you don’t.
This post is already getting away from me so I’ll end it here. If you’re reading this please send me a comment and let me know your thoughts. I wanted to have conversations like this with my circle of friends but it seems like I am the only one in my circle going through this spiritual awakening.
I get ZERO feedback from them and then I get combative because I know there is a shift occurring in the spirit for believers of Christ. That is the one true god, Jesus Christ. Yashewah. I may have spelled it wrong but phonetically it is sound. I know that those of us who seek to serve and worship in spirit and in truth are all experiencing something that has deepened our love and devotion to God. What ever it is, we are growing and gearing up for an oncoming storm.
This season is about solidifying your faith and creating a stronger and unshakable foundation on which you stand your ground and face the enemy. You are being honed and conditioned spiritually much like a soldier is conditioned for battle. You are no different. You are finding yourself in situations where you are restless…anxious…almost as if you are impatient for it all to begin. I know because I am the same way.
If you find what Im saying to be true for you, I would love to see your comments especially.
I will continue this subject another time. It gets stranger…and then it gets dangerous…but much like the walk with Christ is dangerous…it leads to somewhere eternally beautiful.
Stay with me